By Jill O’Mahony Stewart
Dr. Seuss’s “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” is a graduation-gift standard. In it, the author tells young folks about the life adventures that await them. And he doesn’t skip the scary stuff or the bumps in the road. I often reread “Oh, the Places You’ll Go,” and cry. Good crying – the bittersweet, protective kind, anticipating the adventures my students will soon have out in the real world.
But Dr. S doesn’t talk much about the people you’ll meet along life’s pathways. And equally important, he doesn’t talk about how to handle the people you don’t like or don’t agree with.
Recently, I helped organize a community conversation between former Congressman Joe Walsh [R-IL] and gun-safety activist Fred Guttenberg at a local university. Their tour, “Two Dads Defending Democracy: Bridging the Gap During Divisive Times” is the result of their efforts to understand each other’s point of view, since they are on opposites sides of most issues.
By getting to know each other more deeply, developing respect and trust, and gaining an understanding of the other’s position, Walsh and Guttenberg model how to engage in dialogue to find common ground. In the process, they’ve learned about the power of deep listening with an open heart and an open mind.
For me, their message is a lesson in willingness to revisit our biases, and perhaps change our minds about an issue or a person.
In “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection” Charles Duhigg explores the language of connection, concluding that with “the right tools and understanding we can connect with almost anyone.” And in “A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life” Academy Award-winning Producer Brian Grazer details his weekly “curiosity conversations” and what he learned by asking questions.
I share these tidbits and this photo because I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be standing next to Joe Walsh promoting the value of dialogue in these divided times.
But here we are.
After a career of practicing and teaching public relations, my favorite definition of PR still comes from an early textbook by Cutlip, Center and Broom: “Public relations is the management function that identifies, establishes, and maintains mutually beneficial relationships between an organization and the various publics on whom its success or failure depends.” Note the emphasis on “mutually beneficial relationships” and apply that idea to every personal and professional encounter.
My graduation-season advice goes like this: be open to revising your assumptions and biases. Recognize that networking is more than a what- can-you-do-for-me? interaction. Sure, there will be folks with whom there’s no reconciliation or with whom you have nothing in common. That’s OK, too.
The Two Dads are striving for those mutually beneficial relationships based on respect, trust, and the ability to listen to an opposing viewpoint and to find common ground. That’s the essence of being a super communicator with a curious mind.
Oh, the people you’ll meet!
Jill O’Mahony Stewart is a writing teacher, coach, and an adjunct faculty member of both DePaul University’s College of Communication and the School for Continuing and Professional Studies. She holds an M.S. from Boston University in public relations and an M.A. from DePaul University’s School for New Learning. She loves helping students and young professionals improve their writing skills.