50 common mistakes in PR writing

1.      Failure to adapt the pitch to different press targets and media. Incredibly, some organizations send the same news release and pitch to everyone on their media list—even though TV stations, for example, will rarely respond to the same pitch used for newspapers.

2.      Pitch letters starting with “Dear Editor”—or anything other than the intended recipient’s name. Everyone responds to seeing their name in print—even jaded, overwhelmed journalists. “Dear Editor” suggests that you’re indiscriminately shotgunning your release to everyone. 

3.      Not doing your homework. If the journalist you’re pitching has written about subjects related to your news, then that should guide your pitch letter. But you’ll never uncover that advantage if you don’t take the time to review what your target has written and prefers to write about. The flip side of this is the cardinal rule of pitching: Never send material that isn’t relevant to your recipient’s beat, publication or media outlet. (This means, of course, that you’ll have to justify each person’s place on your media list.)

4.      Poor subject lines. When e-mailing your pitch, a descriptive subject line that gets to the core of your news hook is imperative. “Press release from [X] Corporation” or “News from [X]” is sure death (unless you’re a giant such as Microsoft).

5.      Misplaced contact info. Journalists often stop reading a news release after they get its gist, and if they have questions, they don’t want to have to hunt for whom to call. I shouldn’t have to caution PR writers about this, but I still see releases with the contact info (and URL) relegated to the “About Our Company” graf at the end. To ensure your release isn’t trash-canned, place your contact info above the hed. (And if it’s not a phone number staffed around the clock, remember to indicate your office hours of availability.)

6.      Lack of a truly newsworthy hook. While I have no qualms telling clients that what they think is worth a press release really isn’t anything to bother the press with, too many practitioners are loathe to bite the hand that feeds them. The result: Uninteresting press releases that won’t ever get into print. Many clients simply don’t care that their non-news release might antagonize and prejudice journalists against reading anything else from such a poor source in the future. The best news hooks involve something compellingly unique, novel or out of the ordinary. If you’re not fortunate enough to be able to announce a discovery or invention, then try to identify something old being applied in a new fashion, a previously unexamined trend, or something that contradicts prevailing wisdom, expectations or assumptions. (The latter two will make for an excellent op-ed.) Alternatively, peg your announcement to something topical that’s all over the news. Your duty is to provide a persuasive answer to “Why should anyone care about this?”

7.     Dull, inadequate heds.Highlight the news hook in the hed (headline) and save the dek (sub-headline) for identifying the client and providing more detail. While many pros insist the hed must identify the client, its real job is to seize attention, and too much detail—such as a long client name—crammed into the hed can diminish its impact. With the prevalence of e-mail pitching, you should only be writing a graf or two (along with links) to interest the recipient. Nonetheless, I still prefer to design my official news release (the printed version, which also will go up on the Web site) with a single-line hed and single-line dek, set off with plenty of white space above and below. Always use title case in your hed; the dek can get by with sentence case.

Instead of:

“Seattle’s Official Oscar Night® Party To Benefit Starlight Children’s Foundation”

Recast as:

"Winning Bidder at Seattle’s Oscar Night® America Gets to be Character in Romance Novel; National author donates “ultimate vanity gift” to benefit Starlight Children’s Foundation of Washington”

8.      Overuse of “leading.” Too many companies are "a leading [noun],” “a global leader in…” or “the market-leading [noun]” and journalists automatically discount the identifier anyway. Such puffery is just to make the CEO, board and/or shareholders feel better, which means the PR department isn’t doing its proper job of crafting tight press releases without fluff. The place for such generalized corporate descriptions is in the “About [XYZ]” section, not taking up space in the lede.

9.      Poor flow. I’ve seen too many releases with the nut graf (the summary of the story’s key elements) buried near the bottom instead of immediately below the lede. PR writing must flow naturally from the lede on down, yet too many releases read as if they were stitched together by committee, with important details scattered piecemeal instead of following logically and supporting the previous statement or graf. Pacing and rhythm are important elements in keeping readers engaged, and sometimes short lines can stand out all the more after following a long series of wordy statements. But if your graf abruptly ends with some choppy lines, consider how they might be combined into a smoother whole.

10.    Puffery. Pretend you’re a hard-nosed editor for The New York Times or The Wall Street Journal. Now, read through your copy to eliminate anything that such prestigious publications might consider fluff. (Hint: That would be anything that does not support the lede’s who-what-where-when-why-how.)

11.   Unnecessary filler.  Don’t be prolix—get to the point quickly. News releases don’t have to be a certain minimum length, and journalists hate wasting their time reading through filler. If your news can be communicated in seven succinct grafs, then don’t inflate it into two pages just to make it look more impressive.

12.    Too much detail. Many journalists say that news releases should be no more than one page, and that’s a worthy goal. If you have two or three pages of densely packed information, strip it down to the bare basics and use what’s left over for other PR tools, such as a fact sheet, corporate backgrounder or contributed article.

13.   Lack of clarity. Have someone who doesn’t know your client or your industry read your news release, then take it back from her. Discuss anything else for five minutes, and then ask her what she can tell you about the release. Your goal is to have up to three key points stand out clearly enough for Joan Q. Public to comprehend and recall. (Another good test: Read the release aloud and ask the other person what she remembers and which points were interesting.) Trim back the verbiage and start over with three declaratory statements, then flesh each out into a graf of no more than three sentences. Add no more than two following grafs in support to each point. As a useful exercise in concision, try to craft a message so tightly it could be conveyed in, say, 140 characters. (Sound familiar?) Don’t worry: If journalists want more detail, they’ll contact you—which is, after all, the goal of your news release.

14.     Not written for publication.Write for the best possible result—your copy printed verbatim—and then reread your news release: Would a hard-nosed editor judge it a sufficiently interesting news or feature story to print it without changes? Few releases get used in their entirety, of course, but your goal should be to craft one that could be—and that means offering something with sufficient quality to persuade a journalist to run with the story. (Note: Online outlets are much more likely to run your material unchanged.)

15.    Timidity. While some clients go overboard with hyperbole, many hesitate to seize the superlative(s). Yet the appropriate superlative can be the key to attracting sizable attention if its use can be justified.

16.    No human element. The best PR writing tells a story—of a company, its founders/execs, its customers, product, etc. Too few practitioners know how to package the human-interest elements of a story into an effective pitch. When my young son asked what I do for a living, I boiled it down to “I help people tell their stories.” That’s the essence of PR, and it should be reflected in your writing.

17.    Insufficient context. PR writing too often lavishes detail on product or program features while neglecting its human impact. (This often stems from marketing departments’ desire to address the “how” rather than the “what.”) Sell the product or program’s benefits before presenting its features. Provide context by answering the most important question editors (and their readers) will ask: What will this news mean for me? How will it change my life?

18.    Manufactured quotes that sound canned. “We’re pleased to partner with…” needs to be retired, along with its bedfellow, “We’re excited to…” I take care to craft quotes that sound realistic, phrased in natural ways that real people speak—which almost always get into print—but I don’t think anyone bothers to teach the art of quote-crafting. It’s a neglected aspect of PR writing that needs drastic overhauling in almost every release I read. (Be sure to give the person “quoted” a copy of the manufactured statements, in case a thorough journalist attempts confirmation during an interview.)

19.    Single sources. Sometimes you only have a single person to provide quotes, but too many quotes attributed to the same individual may suggest a vain executive hogging the spotlight. Try to provide more than one source—ideally someone unconnected to your announcement. Outside experts have greater perceived value, so try to get someone sympathetic to your cause to comment on the ramifications of your announcement.

20.    Entrenched redundancies. Every gift is free. Every haven is safe. Every (business) partnership is strategic. Others to avoid: added bonus, all-time record, basic necessity, best-ever, brief summary, close proximity, crisis situation, current trend, end result, final outcome, first-ever, future plans, gather together, general public, HIV virus, local residents, major breakthrough, never before, new beginning, new invention, originally created, over with, period of time, plan ahead, shut    down, small size, time period, true facts, ultimate goal, whether or not.

21.    Gobbledygook. PR writers long have been blasted for using buzzwords that have lost their impact from over-adoption. The list includes: Paradigm-shifting, revolutionary, state-of-the-art, market-leading, industry-standard, next-generation, synergistic, 24/7, best-of-breed, cutting-edge, bleeding-edge, groundbreaking, scalable, integrated solution, benchmark(ed), robust, value-added, end-to-end, customer-centric, turnkey, innovative, interoperable, streamlined, transparency, leveraged, outcome-based, pushing the envelope…If you can’t simply state what makes your product, service or organization notable without resorting to marketing hype, then your writing will be neither clear nor fully effective.

22.    Jargon. Everyone in your industry may know what that obscure term means, but if you’re trying to place something in the general consumer media, then jargon  (especially acronyms) will not only diminish your copy’s clarity, but its impact as well. Write with your audience in mind: Trade talk is fine for professional audiences, but don’t make the mistake of assuming every general reader will understand your argot.

23.    Empty clutter. Strive for succinctness by excising empty phrases that detract from making the point more quickly: “One of the most,” “The fact is/that,” “As a matter of fact,” “For the purpose of,” “In the event of,” “In addition,” “In light of,” “In view of,” etc.  Replace with “if,” “since,” “because,” and so on. Temporal references such as “originally,” “current/currently,” present/presently,” “in the past" and many uses of the prefix “pre-” are usually redundant.

24.    Expletive constructions. Ghost subjects such as “There are/is/were,” or “It is/was” are empty forms that reverse the usual subject-verb order. Dispense with the filler and get to the point. Instead of “There are three reasons why supporting this is important,” rewrite as “Supporting this is important for three reasons…” 

25.    Lack of precision. Notwithstanding their predilection for placing the unnecessary “some” immediately before an amount (e.g., “Some 1,000 persons attended the convention”), journalists prefer exactness. When they see “approximately,” “about” or “almost [x] percent” in your copy, they’ll wonder what you’re hiding and might just try to find out on their own. (Rounding up is one thing, but misrepresenting is quite another.) Be sure, as well, to include exact addresses, URLs and contact information.

26.    Unverified stats. Are you ready for “60 Minutes” to put every one of your claims under their microscope? Many recipients will swallow your statistics hook, line and sinker, but you’d better be able to provide attributions and sources for any careful journalist who inquires. This goes double for stats provided by the client.

I used a stat provided by a CEO in two press releases and a dozen pitches, until someone else in the client’s organization questioned it. Upon checking, I discovered the CEO had mixed parts of two related stats into an inaccurate new whole.

27.    Inaccurate extrapolations. Your survey or poll may have surprising results, but it can’t possibly represent the opinions of any group other than the survey sample. Thus, rather than “a majority of Americans,” write “a majority of respondents.”

28.    Run-on sentences that constitute an entire graf or its major portion. Just as orators learn when to pause for emphasis, writers need to keep in mind that readers’ brains need the rest granted by multiple periods to catch up and process the statements they terminate.

29.    Backing into your subject. Don’t be afraid to make declarative statements. Instead of:  [X] said, “The government must begin immediately…” recast as: “The government must begin immediately… ,” he said.

Poor:   “A collection of personal inspirational stories, the memoir recounts how [X] overcame challenges to become a successful entrepreneur…” 

Better: “[X]’s memoir recounts how he overcame…”

Poor:    “According to [X], the president needs to be doing more about…”

Better:   “The president needs to be doing more about…  ,” he said.

30.    Runaway quotes. People always pay more attention to the first sentence of a quote, but attention falls off the longer the quotes continue. Resist the lazy temptation to string two or more statements together in a long graf that concludes with a comma and “he said.” Instead, insert a break in the flow by using close quotes followed by “he said” or “[X] said.” Then refocus attention by starting a fresh quote.

31.    Quotes in the middle of a graf. Especially if the quote is the first to appear in your press release, give it heightened emphasis by breaking it off into its own graf.

32.    Writing in the negative case. Affirmative statements—focused on what something is—are easier to grasp than negative statements of what something is not. Don’t force your readers to jump through mental hoops when you suddenly change your stylistic direction. Positive case is bolder, more direct and requires fewer words. Thus, “doesn’t have” becomes “lacks” and “not many” becomes “few.” Similarly, “The senator doesn’t think the bill will get voted out of committee without having to be changed” becomes “…doubts the bill will survive in its present form.”

33.    Writing in the passive voice. Use the active voice, in which the subject performs the verb’s action, rather than the passive voice, in which the subject is acted upon. Your goal is to direct readers’ attention to the subject, not the object, of the sentence. Thus, “Mistakes were made” becomes “I made mistakes” and “The president’s plan was criticized by Representative Wilson” becomes “Representative Wilson criticized the president’s plan.” The presence of “was” will be your most prominent clue, but passive voice also can show up in the future or present tenses.

34.    Dull action verbs. If I see one more draft release with “announces” in the hed, I’ll shriek. (Now that’s an action verb!) Choose vivid verbs over neutral ones. Replace “started” with “launched,” “increased” with “expanded,” “made” with “created”—you get the idea. As well, instead of the usual “she said,” inject something that breaks the monotony, such as “she agreed” or “he noted.”

35.   Inappropriate word choice. “Drastic” connotes something unpleasant; what you really mean to convey is “dramatic.” Similarly, the opposite of inactive is active—not the specious “proactive”. (You probably mean “reactive” anyway.) Never use “impact” for “affect.” Know AP style: “over” should never be used to mean “more than.”

36.    Caving in to political correctness. Writers often eschew the use of “sex” in favor of “gender” because they don’t want to convey “sexual,” but the two are not synonyms. Gender should be reserved for linguistics and sociocultural aspects or traits, and not used to distinguish biological differences between the sexes. If you’re worried about how your audience will react, then write with crystal-clear precision that cannot be misinterpreted.

37.    Excessive nominalization. Turning a verb or verb phrase into a noun or noun phrase sometimes can simplify linked sentences into a more cohesive single line. But don’t use nominalizations when they result in lengthier constructions. Reduce “I think the presentation of our CEO’s arguments was effective because…” to “Jim presented an effective argument…”

38.    Shouting. NEVER PUT YOUR HED IN ALL CAPS SINCE NOTHING SPECIAL STANDS OUT WHEN EVERYTHING IS CAPITALIZED.

39.    Hackneyed phrases. As William Safire used to advise, “avoid clichés like the plague.” When you’re promoting any type of event including celebrities, eschew the trite and overused theme of “Stars Come Out to Support [X]’s Event…”  If  you’ve seen a phrase commonly used, so have journalists, and they’ll automatically sneer at your dismal attempt at characterization.

40.    Boring punctuation. People don’t speak in semicolons, so never use them in a quote. However, people do get excited in their speech, and dramatic quotes are much more likely to get into print. Create dramatic visual emphasis by inserting dashes to convey passion and enthusiasm.

41.    Sloppy proofreading. Spell-checking won’t necessarily catch inappropriate use of apostrophes (it’s v. its, you’re v. your) and other properly spelled grammatical errors. Many journalists are also good editors, and every time they encounter something you failed to catch in proofreading, they feel a brief pang of irritation that a supposedly professional communicator could be so sloppy—and for their having to be subjected to such poor writing.

42.    Writing with blinders on. You’re probably going to e-mail your pitch (and, possibly, supporting documents), and some diehards still prefer text-only e-mail format over HTML, so take the time to craft a text-only version of whatever you send. That means stripping out all the formatting that otherwise would get in the way of clarity. Proofreading an all-text version is a good way to get a different perspective on the actual content of your copy and how well it works, rather than relying on mere presentation, style or page design to achieve your aims.

43.    Self-censoring your copy for approval by lawyers. If your text must pass muster by other departments, at least put forward your preferred copy rather than doing their job for them. You may get most of what you seek, and your continued advocacy might educate your censors about the impact of powerful PR writing. (Exception: IR material must conform to certain guidelines.)

44.    Dull bios lacking the personal details that make a person seem interesting. Bios should never be merely a fleshed-out resume. They should convey a sense of the individual described in a way that makes you wish you knew her.

45.    Annual reports without human impact. Whom have we helped? How and In what way? With what products or services? (This gets back to presenting context.)

46.    Incomplete fact sheets and backgrounders that fail to list all the details journalists will want to know, such as when the company was founded or the location of its corporate HQ and branches. Review your interview Q & A (which lists all possible questions journalists might pose) to ensure its most important answers are covered in your supporting material.

47.    Underuse/overuse of graphics. All-text white (research) papers are boring, so include illustrative graphics, and ensure your press kit and Web site’s press center  have images formatted for a variety of uses (newspaper, magazine, Web). In contrast, speeches should neverinvolve reading PowerPoint slides aloud. By all means, give your audience a copy of the slides—after the presentation, so you keep their attention during it—but don’t insult them by merely reading aloud what they can see for themselves. Too many public speakers have become dependent on PowerPoint. They use it as a crutch for their central points when they should be making them aloud, and reserving visuals for dramatic effect, emotional impact, etc. When your audience is reading the text of a slide, they’re not paying attention to your speech. If your speech is nothing more than slides read aloud, you’re going to irritate, and possibly alienate, your audience.

48.     Missing details. Sometimes the most fundamental elements get overlooked, so always keep in mind what you’re directing your audience to do. If you’re announcing a contest which also has an online component, then don’t forget to include the URL. If you’re promoting a giveaway, be sure to specify the locations your product can be found.

49.    Poor use of keywords. The old superlative standbys (i.e., first, most, fastest or biggest) always attract attention, but topical keywords can also make your release stand out. Placing keywords in your hed is a critical element of SEO. The latest buzzword is “green,” but other magic themes include money, sex, health risk (especially cancerous), toxic v. safe, and easy/simple. Words that suggest revelation or scandal, such as “secret(s),” “revealed,” “discovered” and “found” are also effective. Current headlines are another good source, especially anything relating to terrorism, health-care reform, or the financial impact of the Great Recession (“bailout” or “foreclosure”). If your product has anything to do with a publicly traded company, then be sure to insert its stock-ticker symbol immediately after the company’s initial reference. (This is only appropriate if you actually have a relationship with the other company, and you probably should have its permission to even mention their name.) Even if your release isn’t picked up by traditional media, using ticker symbols and keywords in a release distributed by wire and/or online is a great way to ensure your announcement will be caught by automated services that send news alerts to subscribers.

50.    No call to action. Your immediate objective is to get your information in front of your target audiences, but your larger goal should be creating a response in them. If your release will appear online, then be sure to include an opportunity for readers who encounter it to go somewhere—such as a dedicated landing page on your Web site (which requires a separate URL)—for more information or to join others in a social enterprise, campaign, contest or giveaway. Offer a free white paper or newsletter; an exclusive, in-depth slide show, video or podcast; free analyses or quotes; or tips, solutions and tutorials.